Widespread doping is elite level sport is an undeniably widespread problem. There is plenty out there on the internet about it and a lot of it involves cycling. Professional rider Joe Papp (he hasn't retired yet - jeez, he's my age - too young to retire!) has a ban for a positive test result in 2006 coming to an end in July. His is an interesting story, one which isn't the sort of thing that you read about too much. For every 'big name' pro that gets busted, there are countless others further down the ladder whose worlds suddenly get turned upside down, their livelihoods taken abruptly away and a realization that life will never be the same again.
 
 
I conducted an interview with Joe a while ago. I'd previously enjoyed his writing on cyclingnews.com so it was good to sit down and write some questions for him to answer. That interview can be found here and judging by the number of page views, it seemed to be quite popular. As a fan of most sports, I've grown up with a host of big name drug busts. To be honest, I can't say its dimmed my enthusiasm for any of them. Of course I'd prefer that sport was drug-free but as that's never going to happen, its better to take a pragmatic view of the situation. The following piece from Joe Papp may go some way to help those contemplating taking drugs to think again. As usual Joe puts the story across well and provides a lot a food for thought - something that isn't often taken on board when understanding is harder than criticizing. See what you think....
   
 

By Joe Papp.....

Were the experiences and competitive results I obtained with the help of doping worth the physical and mental anguish I've suffered during the past two years? The simple answer is “no”. While this probably seems like a no-brainer to the casual fan or weekend racer, it was not a conclusion I ever foresaw during those long nights spent hooked up to an IV or smarting from an intramuscular injection. Doping can ruin your life – and that's the message I have for young athletes who might face similar choices.

Don't get me wrong – save from a few brief moments of clarity when I recoiled in disgust from my participation in systematic doping – I understand that I was willing to follow “the program” if it meant I could keep racing and practicing the sport I loved in an environment that seemed intoxicating to me. Unbeknownst to most, I had two significant opportunities to escape the system – one in the aftermath of a terrible crash in 2003 that almost cost me my left leg, and later in early 2006 after it was revealed publicly that a former teammate of mine had tested positive for EPO. And though both times I took baby steps towards the door of mental and physical freedom from cheating, I lacked sufficient willpower, confidence and hope for a future without competitive cycling to break free. Maybe things would have been different if I'd had a stronger outside influence, or a better-calibrated moral compass, but the reality is that I didn't, and I'm reminded of this each and every day of my life.

   
 

I don't ask for sympathy from those of you who could never understand how a good person can make a fundamentally bad decision – or even a series of major mistakes – but I was amazed by the venomous hostility that characterized so much of the anonymous email sent to me care of my website www.joepapp.com . I never realized that so many people felt so let down or angry with me for my own failings. I do offer my sincerest apologies to those people I directly harmed – my competitors who raced without the aid of performance enhancing drugs. Though I met more dopers than clean professional cyclists during my time with a UCI license, I know you're out there and I took food from your plate.

   
 

Without cataloging the entire collection of woes that have befallen me as a result of doping, there are four that bear mentioning (in addition to almost having died after my last race), and which future professionals tempted by the needle should acknowledge: the poisoning of personal and professional relationships that were incredibly important to me; continued separation from my wife and son; my inability to secure post-cycling work in the professional field for which I'd trained and my subsequent financial ruin; and the dual physical and mental anguish I've endured since being cast out of the sport I loved, which formed such a dominant part of my identity and sense of self.

   

I started cycling on May 25, 1989 – my 14 th birthday, one day after the death of my father. Cycling was an escape from a shattered childhood, but also a means to supercharge my existence – to travel to exotic parts of the world, immerse myself in foreign cultures, represent my country, test myself physically and mentally and generally collect experiences that I thought would form a life tapestry rivaling that of my peers. In the end though, that tapestry is shredded. It hangs in tatters, and I'm left with little more than a few dusty trophies, fading stamps in my passport and vague notions of “what could have been”.

Unlike the authors of more than a few melodramatic letters that appeared in major cycling publications, I would never dissuade a young athlete from following his sporting dreams. I would, however, strongly encourage anyone choosing to pursue sport as a career to relentlessly analyze the long-term costs of his participation against the short-term benefits. Ruin lies in wait for dopers who are caught, but even clean sport can exact a significant toll. There are two questions I wish I'd prepared answers for prior to leaving grad school to return to racing: 1) What would I choose to do if I couldn't race a bicycle and 2) How would I support myself doing something I loved and construct an enjoyable life if professional cycling couldn't be a part of it?

I've been forced to confront the fact that my answers to both questions are still incomplete, and that I'm running out of time to respond appropriately. I am humbled and contrite, and implore you young athletes to avoid making the same mistakes that have consigned me to my present state.

Joe Papp, May 2008

       
 

Interesting stuff huh and plenty of content to mull over?

If one rider, young or old, reads this and decides that going down the doping path maybe isn't the right choice, then that'll be great. In the meantime, its good to read the fall-out away from the hysteria. Cheers for reading...